Numb

I don't cry over you anymore. I don't let myself feel our past. I simply just don't think about it. I don't let me miss you. I replay every moment of hurt over and over. I replay every word, every promise broken. I think about how you didn't think I deserved things like flowers. I think about how you never came here, even though you promised. I think about everytime I made an excuse for how you treated me. I think about how little I asked for. I think about how I thought I didn't deserve nice things because you told me that made me a spoiled princess. I think about how I let you break boundary after boundary. I think about how I let you make me cry. I think about how I let you hurt me. Over and over I replay the, "I love you"s that I thought you meant. (ok I just felt a tear, this one hurts everytime). I think about how hard it was to let you back in, but you begged, you insisted that it would be different. I was resistant, but you broke through my walls. I trusted with all of me one last time. I was patient. I was there for you in everyway that I could be. This time I gave part of me I hadnt before, complete trust. I thought we were in love. I was so deceived and sometimes Im not sure if its your fault of mine.