Defining the Present

I think that I forgot that depression is just something I have to fight. I was looking back on my blogs and I found that I made a conscious effort to avoid it. I REALLY need to get my butt back outside to run. I know that not exercising is contributing to my poor mental state. I need to continue to find ways to love myself. I need to constantly remind myself not to let my moods, emotions, sense of worth come from anyone but me.

Even though I got baptized over the summer. I am really struggling to define what it is that I believe and practice. I am soul search. I know that in the last few years I have moved a lot of my views to the left side. And I think that a lot more of what I practice is based on a life of love rather than a life of law, but I also see the need for there to be a good balance of both.

I am trying my hardest to find the safest (for lack of a better word) way to attach myself to the man I love. I want to be attached enough to enjoy the benefits of the relationship without the consequences if it fails. I want to have a positive yet realistic view of our current state. I want to find that happy medium of being forgiving and able to compromise to being walked on.