In my heart I want to go all out for God. I want it. I can taste it. Its beautiful. Its really a no brainer to follow after His will. However its not easy. Temptation calls like an melting ice cream cone on a hot day. Sitting there just melting, wanting to be eaten by someone. It sits there just dripping and your hot and you know how good it tastes. The worst part is the part of me that does not really want to change. I want the best of both worlds.
In my mind its been long over with. I know better than anyone that getting along only means that its only a matter of time before we fight. Its frustrating because what Im in this for is not even what I miss when you are gone. I miss you. I think whats even worse is knowing that if I don't keep you someone else will get to enjoy you, and Im not ready for that.
Confused and Frustrated....because anyway I look at it I lose.
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