Daydreams of the Future...

My whole life all I wanted was to be a grown up. Being a grown up is looking scarier and scarier!
There is so much to consider. Who will I be? Where will I go? Will I fail? If and when I fail will I find a way to stand back up?

I am trying to latch myself to the plan of God. I keep telling God how afraid I am. I trust him...well I am trying. I know that He has this incredible plan for me. I cant see it though. I can almost feel it but I cant see it. I know that He has brought me this far for one purpose...service to Him.

I told my mom the other day that its hard sometimes to believe that God's still has a plan, because I perverted it so much. I have to remember though that God knew all along that I would go this way, I know it not what He wanted, but He always knew. He knew that I would turn away and He knew that I would come back; He knew that even when I couldnt have imagined it. God promised me the nations and the nations He will give to me.

My heart breaks as I consider the incredible love of God. How He designed me in all my intricate parts. He fashioned me and put me together, knowing my purpose from the start. How awesome that He has brought me through to the do the thing He designed me to do...I was created like a unique gear in a clock....Who can fathom this love? Its too much for my heart to contain or comprehend.

The days until summer cannot come fast enough. I miss my sister more than I have words to express. There is no one in the whole world who means to me what she does. I do not believe anyone is as beautiful and increbile as she is. She is bursting with potential and I am so excited to see all the Lord has in store for her. The distance, the miles truely break my heart.